Maybe its because I’m now officially in my thirties. Maybe its because of the whole marriage-children thing. Maybe its because the WiFi signal I’m on keeps freaking dropping.
But it seems like everything is SO HARD.
And not just for me.
I bet you can think of people you know, people who are close to you, that are simply going through a really tough time right now. If you’re not going through some kind of hardship right this very moment – you probably have, or you’re probably about to. You have been warned.
But this is what I’m learning to accept, and its making all the difference.
Life is hard.
Life is hard.
I’m finding that hardship is NORMAL, that it’s the natural state of affairs, that it is not something that happens only to me. I feel more peaceful. I feel less resentful and angry. And its counterintuitive, but I feel hopeful.
Perhaps this will help explain what I mean…
I recently read Bear Grylls’ book Mud Sweat and Tears. I gave it to my husband Tom for our 8 year anniversary and the irony of the title and the season of life we’ve been in was no coincidence. In the book, Bear describes the crazy physical challenges of climbing Everest. He nearly died, he had to suffer incredible hardship and physical pain.
BUT THAT IS WHAT HE SIGNED UP FOR.
And so when all the difficulty actually happened, Bear says
“What? Why is it so cold here in the Himalayas? What do you mean I have to endure brutal amounts of pain? I thought climbing Everest was going to be the best experience of my life. I thought it would be fun and pleasant and easy” – Bear Grylls (never) says.
When he signed up for Everest, he signed up for BRUTAL. And that is why when BRUTAL happened, he overcame it. He said, “Bring it on!”. Heck, the dude actually thrived on it and dare I say, he ENJOYED the hecticness of it all.
If I believe marriage is about being happy and feeling good – then when it is unpleasant and difficult I am shocked and disappointed. I imagine that because its not easy, something must be wrong. With me, or him, or us. I feel cheated, robbed of some promise I had about this being wonderful all the time.
But when I accept that marriage is hard, or even brutal – I’m less inclined to throw in the towel when it gets messy. When I accept that marriage is difficult, I’m not blindsided or shocked when it gets tough. I don’t get so flustered and confused because this is just how life is, and I can actually embrace the brutal with the beautiful – because its a package deal, folks.
Here’s the deal. When you were born, you signed up for difficult. Life is hard, folks. Thats just how it is. But accepting this means you get to be brave. It means you get to overcome it. It means you get accomplish something beautiful when things are brutal. And that is why people get famous and get to write book and we read them and think they’re amazing and awesome. Because the best stories are the ones where people are brave.
So here is our word of the day…
1. ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.